Whats It Feel Like?
by LuvEdwardC
Summary: One Shot Song Fic to Whats It Feel Like to be a Ghost? from Taking Back Sunday Paul POV Give it a chance please


"What's It Feel like to be a Ghost?" By Taking Back Sunday

Not mine. . .

Paul POV

And then you said a little more about your dreams,  
Like it was my call (my call)  
If you would only listen

She just doesn't get it. How can Suze not see it? We were made for each other. If it weren't for that stupid ghost, she would be mine. God, I hate de Silva. If only there was some way to just make him go away. But I have tried everything.

Maybe I'm over thinking this. Maybe I should just show up one night and beat him to a quivering mass of goop. That would be good for relieving stress. And sure, Suze would probably hate me for a while, but she would forget about de Silva after she saw how great I am. Every other girl here sees it, why not her?

If she would just give me a chance, I could show her that I love her. This isn't lust that I feel. I've felt lust before, and this is nothing like it. Not even close. I love Suze Simon. If she would only listen.

Bypassed everything and went straight for the neck  
(I study)  
We study   
(up nightly)  
Dragged you out into the streets  
Before you buckled at your knees (buckled at your knees)

I followed Suze. I had to find out when the best time to take out Rico would be. It would have to be when he was alone. But the loser is never around when Suze isn't. This may be harder than I thought. Finally, she went down to dinner and Rico stayed to read some huge book. What a loser. If I were him, I'd be watching Suze. It's not like she would care if de Silva was looking at her.

What's it feel like to be a ghost?  
(Well, louder now, louder now)  
So what's it feel like to be a ghost? Ahh  
Are you up for, are you up for this?  
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)  
Are you up for, are you up for this?  
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)

I climbed up the porch and onto the roof by Suzes' bay window. _Maybe I was wrong, maybe this will be easy,_ I thought. Rico was leaning against one of the side windows and the one across from him was open. He didn't even notice when I climbed in, he was so absorbed in that stupid book. I slammed his book shut causing him to yell from being startled. I laughed at him, a cold hard laugh with no humor.

"De Silva." I greeted him coldly.

"What do you want, Slater," he asked standing up.

"What's it feel like to be a ghost?" I asked, walking up to him.

He didn't answer, he didn't trust me. And for good reason.

"So what's it feel like to be a ghost?" I asked again. "It can't be fun can it? Do you want me to just put you out of your misery? I could, you know."

He knew where I was headed now and took fighting stance. I did the same.

"Are you up for this?" I ask him, no note of sportsman ship in my voice.

"Are _you_ up for this?" He glared at me, I wasn't frightened at all.

This is quick but not quite painless,  
It sits perched on your arm.  
Tacky and irrelevant (So what?)  
A permanent reminder that, oh Christ  
(I study)  
We study  
(up nightly)  
Drag you out into those streets  
Before you buckled at your knees (buckled)

What's it feel like to be a ghost?  
(Well, louder now, louder now)  
So what's it feel like to be a ghost? Ahh

"I'm always ready, Rico. If you hold still, it will be faster. But unfortunately, not quite painless," I lunged at him and we fell to the floor.

Within seconds, we were throwing punches at each other and rolling around the room, not playing fair at all. I kneed him in the groin to get him off of me. He was better then I had given him credit for. I should have known better, after all, this wasn't the first time Rico and I had fought. He made an ass out of me at Brad's party.

I finally got a good blow to the back of Rico's head that knocked him out cold. I grabbed his arm and shifted.

I felt the cold fog wrap around my legs and opened my eyes. The Shadowland, just the same as it always was. I glared down at Rico's body one last time and whispered, "So, what's it feel like to be a ghost?" I shifted back to my body in Suze's room, praying that she hadn't come back from dinner to find my unconscious body lying on her bedroom floor, that would blow my cover.

I rolled over and bumped against Suze's bed. The pain shot through my body. I sat up and touched my nose. Wincing, I realized that Rico had followed his trade mark and broken it, again. I looked down and my blood stained hand and torn clothes and decided to make my escape.

I jumped in my car and sped home; feeling lighter and happier then I had been in a while. Suze would think that Rico had moved on and I would be the one there to comfort her. She would be mine in no time.

I cleaned up and found that my nose was the only thing that had been broken. I could deal with that and a few bruises without going to the ER. I was Paul Slater, after all. I put on clean dark jeans and a black button up shirt. I jumped back into my shoes and ran out the door.

Are you up for, are you up for this?  
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)

I drove as fast as I could back to Suze's house. I took a deep breath and asked myself if I was ready to see Suze. I went over what I was going to say in my head. I rang the doorbell. One second, two seconds, three seconds, four seconds, five seconds, six seco- the door opened. It was the little one, David.

"Hey, kid," I said as nicely as I could, it was easier to charm the girls, but I wasn't worried I would scare the kid. "Is Suze here?"

"Um, yeah she is. I'll go get her." He started to run back into the house but I called him back.

"Wait, Kid. Do you think I can just go up to her room? I've been here before, I know where it is." The mother walked in.

"Hello," She beamed at me, "Are you looked for Susie?" I nodded. "Well come on in, I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you."

The little kid looked pained to let me in, but he did. I wondered what his problem was, but the thought was gone in an instant, I was going to have Suze!

Are you up for, are you up for this?  
(Well, are you up for, are you up for..)

I checked myself one last time, and opened her door. She didn't look sad or worried at all, she simply sat on her bed, music on, reading a magazine. She looked up from her reading and glared when she saw me. I closed the door.

"What do you want, Paul?" I couldn't tell her emotion well, but she seemed annoyed.

"Aren't you upset? I was worried about you, so I came by to check on you. I doubt that The Old Man will be much help. He's kinda rusty dealing with emotional people. And I know how attached you were to R-Jesse. . ." I was right; she had no clue about Rico, perfect.

"Paul what the hell are you talking about," she demanded. She seemed mad that I was telling her Jesse was gone.

"You don't know?" I asked, then more to myself than her, but I made sure she would hear it, "It must have just happened then."

"What happened, Paul? Tell me, now." She was getting stressed, different emotions playing across her face every second.

"Suze, Jesse's gone." I sat down next to her, a gentle look on my face.

Her jaw dropped, she shook her head slowly side to side, her breathing increased rapidly; like she was going to hyperventilate. Tears started to slowly slide down her cheeks. I reached out and wiped them away with my thumbs. I pulled her toward me and held her close.

"Shh, Suze. Its okay, I'm here. Jesse will be better off where he is now, and neither of you will ever forget the other. I know he will always love you." It pained me to say these things, but I knew it would get me on her good side, and I needed that now.

"Thanks, Paul. For everything." She wrapped her arms around me and sobbed into my shirt, I didn't care at all. She was mine.

I said so, look closely  
There might be something you'd like

"H-he said he'd never leave me, a-and now he's gone . . . " she couldn't talk anymore, she was crying to hard.

"Its okay, Suze. There are a lot of people out there who love you, and really care about you. Maybe the person who can help you the most is right in front of you, you just haven't noticed him yet. Look closely, you never know what you will find. Maybe there's someone better then Jesse." I was trying to get my point to her without making her mad. It worked.

What was it like?  
(oh and I...)  
Looked so close, it's been months who knows if I,  
Will get this right.  
(Oh and I..)  
Look so closely, there might be something you'd like  
What was it like?

She looked up at me, her emerald eyes clouded and spilling over with tears. She whispered my name and I closed the few inches between us. She didn't fight back. I could tell that she had an internal war going on. She wanted to be kissing me, but she didn't want to. She liked me, I knew that now. But she still loved Jesse. That would be fixed though.

I deepened the kiss and we fell back onto her bed. She pulled back but didn't get off of me or say anything, she just lay on my chest and closed her eyes, as if she was trying to fall asleep and was hoping that this was all a dream that would go away.

Oh and I...

"Suze," I said softly.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry," She nodded. "Oh and I. . . I love you."

She snuggled deeper into my chest and didn't say anything. But I knew she didn't hate me, and that was all I needed to know. From here, she was mine.

You don't have to review, but you can if you want to make me feel like a good writer ;) (please do) And remember, if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all, I knew when I wrote this that a lot of people wouldn't like it because I had Paul win, but I couldn't just sit back and let him get trashed, his character has such a strong base I couldn't let it go he's such a dominant person that seeing him lose something he really wanted was physically painful, Paul just isn't the kind of person who looses something that easily


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